Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Monday, June 18, 2012

More Than Just A Pretty Face

Transferred from my other blog: The Adventures of Sisterhood
First published: 6-18-12 at 10:36 PM EDT

I don't love my little sister because her chubby cheeks are cute, because her tiny nose is adorable, because the little ponytail she wears on the top of her head is absolutely endearing. I suppose I love her first and foremost because she's kin, but besides that, it's every new thing she learns how to do or say, every moment of self-satisfaction when she chooses to be carried by me, every time her childish soprano shrieks with happiness. Of course, my psychological deductions are neither accurate nor qualified. Turning to the never-ending fountain of scientific and behavioral knowledge, ScienceDaily, I perused through the psychology archives.

What I happened upon didn't surprise me once I finished reading it. It's all in the structure of a baby's face.There's a region of parental instinct in our minds, which Robin from How I Met Your Mother is clearly missing. Renowned zoologist Konrad Lorenz says that the big-cheeked, wide foreheaded, bulgy eyed baby facial structure is the reason our brain immediately registers it as innocent, helpless, and in need of protection.

While I'm not sure how much the zoology theory applies to adolescents and other children, I can say that I don't think I loved little kids until my baby sister was born. Yesterday, I spent most of my afternoon volunteering at our local park's dock. My duties consisted of fitting customers with life vests and helping them in and out of boats. The girl working with me remarked that I seemed to handle kids and dogs the best, with all my "sweetie" and "kiddo" and "munchkin"-ing. In my mind, every kid I saw I compared with Kylie's timeline. The ones younger, I thought of her just a few months earlier, and the ones older I observed with anticipation and excitement for when my sister would be like that. It wasn't so much their unblemished faces and innocent grins as their funny remarks and all the little actions you start to notice when you've been watching people go by for hours.

I'm not sure that I really have a point today. Everything I've written is fractal and discombobulated. Basically, I love Kylie. My mom loves Kylie, my dad and my grandma love Kylie. Why do we love Kylie? Because she'll take one look at a laptop and demand "Elmo." Because when you ask her a question of responsibility or possession, any "Who" question, her response is always herself. Because she's happy and smart. I guess, well, because she's ours.

-Chichi

Monday, April 9, 2012

Being A Good Influence

Transferred from my other blog: The Adventures of Sisterhood
First published: 4-9-12 at 10:27 PM EDT

I have a friend who has a little sister also. A while ago, we had the following exchange:

Me:
Your sister is freaking adorable. Be a good influence :)
Him:So I taught her how to open a safe without getting caught today.
And she almost has the word "[expletive]" down.
I'm so proud of her.

He said this as sarcastically as he could in an IM (at least, I'd hope it was sarcasm), but this reminded me of an issue that should have some light shone on it. How much can you do around a babbling, wordless younger sibling without being a bad influence? And how much does what you do really influence your sibling at all?

When I understood absolutely nothing about how life and the world worked, even less than I do now, I looked up to my parents. I watched them, observed, asked questions, learned, picked things up subconsciously, etc. As parents, they had the ability to pretty much control everything I did and all the habits I have now. Between always remembering to turn off the lights when I leave the room and putting my dirty dish in the sink after dinner, good habits are the things that remain clearest and most automatic.

As Kylie is growing up, I'm going to strive to prevent myself from accidentally teaching her bad habits or letting her pick up on my bad habits. From baby habits to big kid habits like speaking before you think, I've done all the bad stuff and corrected most of it. No yelling or screaming or loud noises in the house, no complimenting her or encouraging it when she makes such noises, and never say swear words. As a high school student, I obviously have potty-mouthed friends. Whatever happens, they will not be the ones teaching my baby sister foul language. I think she'll have the power to resist it as a habit even once she does get to that age. I have faith in her.

More recently than the first exchange, another question came up between the two of us. "Where do you get your moral compass?" I'm a very non-religious person. In fact, I avoid religion almost at all costs. My family is not affiliated with any religions either. I, personally, am an advocate for LGBT rights, and would categorize myself as one who bases her ideas off of proof and science, not divine intervention. Freethinker. However, with a childhood education that sprouted in a college town in the Deep South, Christian influence was extremely prevalent until I was about eight. From ages eight to thirteen, last summer, we lived in a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia that had up to 6 churches on a major street. Where we live now, where Kylie is going to grow up, I've only counted 3 churches in the area total. Of course, my parents were stronger navigators of the moral compass than the community around us, it probably would be beneficial to have the extra reinforcement of the common sense kind of right or wrong within the community.

-Chichi